Hi Reader,

So... every now and then I let you into my personal life.

Today is one of those days.

I've been dating again.

Remember Mr Brazil from a few years ago? Well... I've received some more medicine. Let's call him Mr Smooth 😝

Dating will help you grow so much.

I'm in Sydney, and he booked a table at this very cool little speakeasy bar in the city. I could hear the crowd but couldn't find the door! When I eventually do, I walk in and the waitress shows me to our table that's right in the corner at the back.

Cosy. Yes.

Good for a first date? Maybe not lol... it was dark, noisey with a left over drunken Christmas lunch debacle, and when I opened the menu the font size was a light italic size 8. Suddenly I felt very old. I couldn't hear or see anything lol!

I look up. He's making his way over...

He's handsome, has a great smile and conversation immediately flows easy. Before I know it, he's sitting on the couch next to me. I say something funny and he goes to give me a high-five... but instead I catch his hand and softly bring it down. We lock eyes, he smiles and doesn't let it go. Playing with my hand for the remainder of the night.

May the chaos begin...

Be Revolutionary,

Ps. Know your relationship attachment style: It will shed so much light not only on dating and your relationships, but also your relationship with money. If you can see where your behaviour and decisions need to change... trust me, it will. ​
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Lesson #1: Chemistry

We all love that feeling right. It's like when something just clicks that can't be named... a certain type of butterfly in your stomach perhaps? Like a magnet, the person in front of you feels so familiar and warm. I'm learning that perhaps this familiar feeling does not mean it's right.

Rather, it means it's a pattern from the past until I make a new one.
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👉🏽 What money patterns do you have? Is there a situation that keeps happening that you'd really like to change?

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Lesson #2: Boundaries

I actually was really good with this... initially. 😂 I am learning. Make sure you give yourself a pat on the back for the things you do well, and be able to laugh at what you could do better next time.

A couple of weeks in, it was clear we wanted different things... so I communicated in a nice and mature way that it was time to say goodbye. No hard feelings, just not the right time.

👉🏽 How do you adult with money? Do you value yourself, and make sure your money habits reflect your value?

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Lesson #3: Addiction & Relapse

Good lord, an Avoidant and Anxious attachment type can totally bring out the skeletons in your closet. I have an Anxious attachment style - although happily moving toward Secure ;) It's like when you start going to the gym all fired up... but the next week you end up skipping a class and eating an almond croissant instead. You just can't seem to help it, the craving is so strong, but the only person who it impacts is you.

I'm still kicking myself that I went back on my boundaries. I really should have kept walking away. BUT! I stand firm that the only way to learn is from experience. And I did. Keep participating.

👉🏽 Would you like to have an abundance of money? Are you willing to mess up in the knowing it's how you'll learn and get different outcomes?

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Lesson #4: Insight & Learning

I'll be honest, I had no idea I was dealing with an Avoidant in the first instance. I was blaming everything that played out on me. Thinking I was the one at fault and when will I ever get dating right, let alone relationships...

It was a yuk feeling to go through that again.

However, one of the things I do love about myself is how curious I am. In my desire for understanding and to change my experiences... through research, this is when it became so obvious to me what had just happened.

Also, at the time things were incredibly tight financially which didn't help. It was like grand cocktail of emotions and behaviours based on me not feeling secure and supported within myself.

Anxiety 101 😅

And this is why your attachment style can be so enlightening to learn, in amongst recognising environmental circumstances that will make you play out to your worst or best. Financial stress will absolutely help you play out your worst behaviours... and it's usually the one topic that most people don't like to talk openly about.

No wonder there can be so much chaos in dating, relationships, business partnerships and friendships.

It all makes sense right?

Knowing your attachment style doesn't mean that you'll be that way forever. What it does mean, is that you have a clear understanding of where you're at, and how to cultivate a more secure attachment style within yourself - whether you're Anxious or Avoidant when it comes to finances and relationships.

I honestly believe if I didn't have the financial stress happening at the same time, I'm pretty sure things would have played out very differently with Mr Smooth - from my side at least.

And maybe that's exactly why it all happened... for me to see that.

No regrets - just incredible insight and learning.

👉🏽 What type of attachment style do you have with Money? Does money make you nervous? Do you isolate? How do you need to change your relationship with money?

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